Give Yourself Permission To Be Confident

I don’t know who was there the day I was born.
I don’t know if anyone came to find my bassinet in the nursery.
I don’t know that anyone particularly cared that I had arrived.
I don’t even know the woman in the delivery room, exhausted and suddenly alone.

I didn’t start with much.

About six weeks into my life, I went home with the people who became my parents. They are my parents, and they gave me a lot.

As a child, I was incredibly shy. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to smile. I didn’t want to be called on. I didn’t want to be looked at, but somebody forgot to give my mom the memo.

She made me sing in church. Alone.
She made me talk. To adults.
She made me play my viola. In public.
She made me smile, practice good manners, and speak so I could be heard.

My dad made me try hard. At sports. At school. At life.
My dad made me love the Word of God.
My dad made me travel and develop a deep fascination with the world.

I grew up like any other kid.
I played with other kids in the neighborhood.
I got bullied.
I liked reading.
I learned about Jesus.

All through my early years, a thread was weaving in and out. A pulsing, living thread shuttled across the loom of my life to which my experiences and environment attached themselves. My genes were already deep in the fibers.

I was shy. I was afraid. I tried to hide.

But my experiences, my environment, and my relationships were all coloring the thread. And day by day, year by year, the weaving continued.

It didn’t look like much because, up to that point, I wasn’t playing a significant role in shaping the fabric of my life. My lack of confidence made me more of a bystander than an active participant. I didn’t have much of a say.

Then, in high school, I changed schools after my freshman year. My parents had gotten divorced (like a lot of other kids I knew), my dad remarried, and we moved.

That change precipitated a change in me. I changed more than schools. I changed myself.

I can remember the day, the weather, the light, and what I was wearing. In that instant, the weaving was not finished, but I decided to take part in what the threads of my life would look like. I wanted to be a part of the creation process.

On that day, I stood up and decided to appreciate the design, to love the colors and the patterns.

In a moment, I threw off the chains of fear and became a new person. I said, “Self! You are done being shy. You are not that girl anymore. It’s time for something new.”

I found my confidence, and in an instant, everything changed.

Today, I am a living tapestry of shade and nuance. I am made up of colorful experiences and rich hues of history. Part of what makes me the masterpiece I am is my confidence.

It has been many years since I suffered from low self-esteem.

Today, I speak up, speak out, and fight on.
Today, I remember where I started, and it helps me to encourage others to find their voice.
Today, I am deeply rooted in the soil of the Word.
Today, I am bold.

Sometimes I get myself into trouble, and sometimes I have to pull the stitches out and start over, especially when I overdo it.

But, as a work in progress, I am confident in the finished product I will someday be.
I am confident in the designer.
I am confident in the quality of the thread.
I am confident that what He started, He will finish, and it will be GOOD.

Philippians 1:6

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

What does the tapestry of your life look like? Are you an active participant in the process? Or are you letting life wash over you in a tidal wave because of fear, disappointment, or setbacks?

You were created for confidence. Confidence in the One who made you. Don’t let fear hold you back, stand in your way, or tell you lies.

Stand up. Be bold. Get rooted, and be confident.

If you aren’t attached to one, find a community of faith. It’s the number one way to build your confidence and find a place to belong.

Need help? Ask.

I want the best for you. I want a beautiful tapestry of life, love, and experience that you can call your own and proudly own. Don’t be afraid any longer. It may be time to make a change. Go for it.

I believe in you and support your desire to be confidently more.